06.10.08

Of loving & letting go

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:51 pm by khessa

It is not everyday that we fall in love. That is why we try
to do everything we can to salvage a relationship gone sour or a love which got
tainted by things which do not bespeak of pure love — selfishness, greed,
jealousy and other personal motives.

 

But it takes more love when we are able to say when to let
go, when to end hoping, when to stop clinging.

 

It is greater love when we decide to let go because
insisting your happiness will be at the expense of his.

 

It is greater love when you move on even if you don’t know
if happiness awaits in the future, because it is his happiness that you think
of first.

 

It is greater love when you walk away because staying will
only aggravate things and staying will only rob him of the life he wanted - a
life without you in it.

Nobody said that letting go is easy but at some points in our life, we reach this
crossroad where it shows more wisdom, more courage, and more love when we are
able to choose to accept that things are falling apart, that things will never
be the same again, and selfishness is not an option.

 

I am ending this soliloquy with a nice verse about letting
go which I read from PDI a long time ago:

 

To let go does not
mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off; it is the realization I can’t control
another.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my
hands.
To let go is to enable but also to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another; it is to make the most of
another’s self.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes, but to allow
others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face the reality.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue but instead to search out my own
shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate but to try to become what I dream I
can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is not to deny but to accept.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

06.06.08

not a speck

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:17 pm by khessa

I am just a tiny speck in this immense universe. I could just
be nobody but I am not. My mom worries about my nightly gimmicks. My father
misses me when he doesn’t see much of me around the house. I have friends who
ask why I was not with the group even when what we only do is just hang out,
sip cappuccino or get drunk. I have officemates who inquires when I don’t
report to work. I have classmates who ask why I still have not enrolled and
dogs who endlessly wiggle their tails or stick their tongues out whenever they
see me.

 

I used to think that I was nothing. Because I was busy
juggling work and school together, I was disconnected from most of the people I
used to talk with. Most of the time, I was left alone to figure out solutions
to my problems. I may be too good at hibernation in the past but this time, my
solitude only made my problems a cycle because I could hear no one but myself. So,
I tried another way. I opened up, updated my parents about the happening in my life,
I told friends about my story.

 

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And so, I learned from others. I learned that there are
other voices worth listening than my own. It turned out that once we open ourselves
to the world, the world smiles back at us. Opportunities we never thought are coming
unfold. Little helps from friends crop up. More wonderful things than what we
thought we deserve happen. I learned that there’s more to life than feeling empty
and alone. I am not nobody. I am not just a tiny speck in this universe.