04.01.07
still living with parents
i don’t usually go with my folks to church because i don’t want distractions. as catholics, we are only asked an hour or a little over every week and i want to give Him my undivided attention. but yesterday, i did join them as it was palm sunday and i realized that it is the first lent without nanay (my lola). i felt sad…
my sadness continued till we got home. there are only the three of us now — my father, my mom and me, since my brother is away for school. most of the time, the house is left empty (except for missy, our dog) because we all have our own businesses to deal with. i suddenly remembered my childhood when we were all complete - my lolo, lola, uncles and aunts, my parents, my brother. we lived in one compound. there used to be so many of us yet now, we are like drifting woods in the sea of life. each of us has own matters to deal with, own battles to face, own challenges to hurdle.
this must be the reason why even if i could stay away and live independently, i opted to stay with my parents. i want to keep my family. yes, i went through that phase when i toyed the idea of living on my own. in fact, i remembered bugging my parents to allow me to get my own place, just like what you see on t.v., yuppies keeping their own pad, spending their paychecks on the latest entertainment or kitchen sets, seeing their parents only when their schedule permits. freedom is so enticing that often than not, most of us succumb to its calling.
but then i realized how life is so short. for most of my college years, i had been away from home. all through those years, i missed papa’s kakulitan and the comforting talks with mom. i went back home finding out that papa has gained weight as well as creases on his forehead and is no longer the macho gwapito i knew [sorry pa ;-)]. mom, on the other hand, has freckles now on her arms, just like nanay’s. she’s no longer as flawless as she used to be. i realized, my parents are not getting any younger and what a better way to make up for the lost time than be with them while i am still single without any plans yet of having my own family.
this was what i didn’t see before, during the times when i was so upfront in getting my own freedom — the time to enjoy their company, the chance to repay them for all their sacrifices for me and to be there when they need my help. though living on your own will give you the freedom and challenge you all want, it is still different waking up to a new day knowing that just in the other room, you have there the only two people in this world who have cared for you more than anyone else could. rather than a solitary morning, it is still way different being able to barge into their room, snuggle between them under the covers or do something naughty, like take papa’s slippers when i get out of their room and hear them squabble over who took the slippers again.
