08.12.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 10:32 pm by khessa
Despite all the troubles I unintentionally made in the past, my shortcomings, my ill share of slips and flaws, I cannot help but be awed at how God still care about an insignificant being like me. Well, I was not Miss Popularity back in high school (nor do I aim of becoming one) but still, I feel quite lucky because I am blessed with just the right people I need in my life. Sometimes, I’d say to myself, “I must have done something good in my life to deserve these people.”
One of these precious gems I stumbled upon is my best friend, Sherylle. We were really not the best of friends back in high school because we had our own set of friends but we knew we shared a special bond. Our friendship blossomed only through constant reunions during semestral breaks in college. From the lanky, bubbly, and carefree young lass she was, Sherylle turned into one of the wisest, confident, and loving persons I am privileged to know.
Sherylle was with me during the times when we were still both jobless and trying to find meaning to our juvenile lives. In my lows, she always made me feel loved by merely keeping me company. She would sleep over at the house when she feels I was going through something, even when I didn’t say a word to her. I’m not sure if I was able to thank her during those times, nevertheless, I’d like her to know how her act filled my heart with warmth and comfort.
Sherylle is one tough and smart girl. From our investigatory project in high school in which we were group mates, she would shush off intimidators. Now, she shushes off my detractors. Ilang tao na rin ang inaway niya dahil sa akin. She has been my loyal combatant because I really am not the confrontational type and would rather not waste my time an emotions on people who do not matter to me. I also cannot quite remember how many bargains I’ve got at the “ukay-ukay” here or the flea markets in Hong Kong because of her. She is my “pambala” because I am too bashful to ask for “tawad.” We had our shares of happy moments but she was there for me most at the sad times. She was the first person I called when Mom was rushed to the hospital. It was her shoulders I cried on when I learned of Mom’s death and the same I leaned on as I watched Mom being laid to her final resting place.
Now that Sherylle is married and I am busy most of the time, we don’t often get to see each other as we used to. But deep in our hearts, we are quite cognizant of the fact that even if we don’t see each other for a decade or so, we share this special bond which no mortal can ever break. Recently, someone tried to do me harm by spreading talks. Sherylle came to my rescue just in time. She always had the knack for knowing when I need her and what I just need at the right time.
My friendship with Sherylle changed me in so many good ways. With her, what used to be hazy became clear, what was hidden obvious, what was average exceptional. Sherylle erased in me my shallow concept of friendship in the past by showing me what genuine friendship is. She taught me not to hide what’s beautiful and even the not-so-beautiful in me for as long as it makes me happy. To her, “keber sa uban” if it makes me happy for as long as I don’t step on others’ toes. My average and dull life before became exceptional and shiny because I’ve known her.
I am quite choosy with the people I entrust my life with but I believe Sherylle is one who I can say met or even surpassed my standards. Today, as she celebrates her birthday, I thank and revere God for the blessing of her!
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08.03.09
Posted in Causes tagged cancer, coycoy mapa, help, kid, leukemia at 11:19 pm by khessa
Many of us often complain about how tough life is. A little criticism makes us angry. A little discomfort thrusts down our spirits. A little problem depresses us. I am oftentimes guilty of these but when I ponder upon the difficulty of a little boy named Coycoy, I still feel lucky.
Coycoy is 7 years old. He is the son of one of Kuya Gil Mapa – one of the guys at the office who do electrical piecework. Coycoy is the only boy in the three siblings. It has been a year since he was diagnosed of leukemia or cancer of the blood. Since then, Kuya Gil and his wife, Maribel Dinggal, have been in and out of the Davao Medical Center, transferring every now and then from the Oncology Department to the House of Hope which shelters cancer kid patients.
Coycoy has undergone his 3rd chemotherapy and on his way to his 4th. His fragile body is slowly becoming weak. Kuya Gil and his wife have been doing their best to save Coycoy. They have exhausted all their resources to pay for his chemo sessions, medication, and for their daily sustenance in the hospital. Kuya Gil is in Digos from Monday to Saturday to be able to work and earn whatever little he can just for his family to survive. His wife is the one left with Coycoy in the hospital to give him the love and support of a mother. Coycoy’s sister also stopped school to assist her mother in taking care of him.
The family has already sought help from friends, co-workers, and government agencies but these are still not enough to make both ends meet. Kuya Gil is starting to lose hope for his son, but every time he sees Coycoy striving to better his health, it becomes his source of strength. Coycoy, like any other child, dreams of becoming somebody someday. He believes of having a beautiful life ahead. Coycoy’s enthusiasm to live is what makes his father firm in believing that one day Coycoy will be free from his suffering.
Their family’s struggle becomes an inspiration for me. It is a constant reminder for me to appreciate life and to trust in God’s plans. I believe that one of the reasons why all these happened to the family of Coycoy is for us to reflect on his plight, to become a blessing to those who need help, especially like the family of Coycoy. I am sending this to you because I think that this is one of the ways I can be of help. I am reaching your kindest heart and hoping that you would also help Coycoy. Coycoy’s battle for cancer is our battle too. Please pray for him and his family. If you wish to share some of your blessings for his medication, please email help.coycoy@gmail.com or simply share this post. You may also directly contact Kuya Gil at his cellphone number at 0909-866-1744.
Thank you and God bless.
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06.16.09
Posted in Soliloquies at 2:04 am by khessa
The news I heard today moved me & made me realize that life is a constant let go. At times, we just have to let things be and need not worry.
That change is inevitable but what will remain constant in your life are the people who love you like your family, that no matter how much you would hurt or offend them, they will still love and accept you.
That all lives intersect. That death doesn’t just take someone but in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed.
That past lovers may remember you and new ones may want you but the one you are with now is the one you are meant to be with.
That everything in life happens for a reason and that what you want in life will happen if only you would want it enough to make it happen.
That you control the berries in your head. That every time you think a negatively, you can always replace it with a positive thought instead. There is no written law that says that because you once believed something, you have to continue to believe it forever.
That your friends are reflections of you. Treasure them because they love and care for you enough to point straight in your face your misdeeds.
That what you do with your time is what defines you. So don’t idle your time away.
That there are people who have some parts like yours but no one adds up exactly like you. Therefore, everything that comes out of you is authentically yours and therefore you own yourself.
That no one notices you when you walk into a room so quit fidgeting or fussing about what others would say. They are too busy tending their own lives.
That life constantly pokes a joke on you. That is why it is worth living.
That the little acts you do at this moment will sum up your future. Therefore, be wise in everything you do.
That the reason why many are still troubled and making little progress is because we haven’t yet come to the end of ourselves. Most troubles in this world are caused by people wanting to feel important.
That the world is not our ultimate home that’s why God allows us to experience difficulty and sorrow to avoid getting too attached to it. So when life gets tough, always remember that you are not home yet.
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06.09.09
Posted in Love Blogs at 12:52 am by khessa
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06.01.09
Posted in Love Blogs at 9:04 pm by khessa
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05.24.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 9:08 pm by khessa
I was able to watch on DVD yesterday Eheads’ concert dubbed as THE FINAL SET which I was dying to watch if only I had the money to fly all the way to Manila. But I unluckily had no official business in Manila scheduled at that time so I could not even save on the plane fare and had to kiss my burning desire goodbye.
Witnessing the group together again after they disbanded seven years ago was overwhelming. Hearing their songs played live – especially my favorites Alapaap, Sembreak, and Ligaya, brought chills up my spine yet seeing a slimmer Ely singing this time made me ultra sad. It was like feeling happy and sad both at the same time because as I savored every song, the fact that they are no longer together and will never be continually seeped into my head, as if to remind me not give in to too much gaiety for in the end, it would bring me the lows. Hahay!
I watched the show yesterday, and again this morning and until now, I am still feeling so sad while their songs kept blaring from my computer speakers here at the office. I am sure the other 100,000 E-heads fans who watched the show live at MOA felt a hundred fold sadder.
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04.20.09
Posted in For Mama at 11:41 pm by khessa
Brando and his gf Carina went home last Holy Week for a short vacation. Because my brother is always too lazy to exercise and join me and Papa in our usual early morning walk, I had to make breakfast at Jollibee as enticement. And so did lazy Brando agreed with poor Carina having to tag along. So there were four of us who walked to Jollibee which is about three kilometers from our house. Brando and Carina walked quite behind us that Papa and I were even able to do two rounds at the Rizal Park before the two of them caught up with us. My ever brilliant brother had to use Carina’s asthma as alibi not to speed up.=)
All in all, it was a fun bonding activity and it reminded me of times when all my loved ones - my Papa, my brother and Mama, were easy reach. Since my Papa is often away and my brother works in CDO, I can only heave a sigh of regret that I did not grab as much together-times with them in the past. Now, I can only wish for good times to come back more often and to enjoy every moment I am blessed to be with them. We capped the beautiful morning by paying mom a visit at the park.
papa, tired from our early morning walk?
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04.15.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 8:11 pm by khessa
Good Day!
This is something worth sharing….
THE GREATEST ADVICE
Don’t date because you are desperate.
Don’t marry because you are miserable.
Don’t have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don’t philander because you think you are irresistible.
Don’t associate with people you can’t trust.
Don’t cheat. Don’t lie. Don’t pretend.
Don’t dictate because you are smarter.
Don’t demand because you are stronger.
Don’t sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don’t hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don’t sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don’t stagnate.!
Don’t regress.
Don’t live in the past. Time can’t bring anything or anyone back.
Don’t put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don’t throw your life away on absolutely Mr/Ms Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won.
Only a price to be paid for some of life’s more hasty decisions.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don’t bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be. Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don’t abandon your responsibilities but don’t overdose on duty.
Don’t live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don’t commit when you are not ready.
Don’t keep others waiting needlessly.
Go on that trip. Don’t postpone it.
Say those words. Don’t let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society’s scorn.
Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself. Don’t wait for someone to take care of you. You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except YOU.
It is true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don’t be afraid. Don’t lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.
Live your dreams.
Don’t grow old. Just grow YOU!
When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
–Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life
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04.02.09
Posted in Work-Related tagged teacher at 12:53 am by khessa
I used to be so excited when summertime comes. I would already imagine a lazy day at the beach while a Jack Johnson song plays at the background or a joy ride with friends to the mountains. Summer can also be equated to reunions with old friends and classmates. And of course, extra quality time with family and loved ones.
However, in my nine years in my present work, I am realizing how I miss out so much of summer fun. Since I began to work right after graduation, summer became a time to prepare for the annual meeting of our members in the last week of May. This means several overtimes just to beat deadlines and be able to release the annual report ahead of time. Doing the ordeal at first was fun because I so love to layout, to write or sit in at the printing press which had been my role since high school up to college. However, the fun is sucked by the way I would compete - not with the reports of other electric cooperatives, but more so with myself. I’m hypercritical with my output because I would want each report to be better than last year’s. It drives me crazy at some point because I find myself my most challenging competitor. I find it always so hard to destroy what I had lovingly made in the past in order to build something far better at present.
Summer is also the national awarding of all electric cooperatives in the country. This year is the toughest because the awarding will be held in Davao City in late April. All matters of preparations and practices are being done to make NEA’s activity a success. And the awards night is also something to watch out for.
Summer is also the elections of the officers of our employees’ coop. Being the chair of the Election Committee for three consecutive years is no easy task. My team and I would often have to check and confer legal matters with the Coop Development Authority to avoid unnecessary technicalities.
These are all aside from school if I would have summer classes and my regular workload. Sometimes, I would ask myself why I did not pursue a teaching profession. I find teaching always fun and fulfilling! I love being able to share part of myself to my students. And most of all, you always have summer vacation to look forward to each year. (Hehe….just a thought!)
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03.14.09
Posted in For Mama tagged balabag, inday, Winefreda, winnie at 1:19 am by khessa
As of this writing Mama, I am still drying my tears and trying to suppress my sobbing because I am terribly missing you again. It was one of those weird feelings I get lately when out of the blue, without intent and purpose, I would suddenly be reminded of you and of the times when you were still around. A little corner inside the house, your crocheted name on your silk fan which I bring with me every time now, even a line of a song would transport me back to days past and would make me long for your warm and loving presence.
After that fateful night in August when you left without warning, I stopped singing or even listening to music. I felt like, from then on, the world was put into a halt and so my love for music. Lately though, I would find myself turning on the speakers again at the office while I do something on the computer. When I am home, I would now check new music on the tube. I would also find myself enjoying music trips with a friend. And I have likewise resumed what we both loved doing on a lazy Sunday afternoon — to torture the magic sing with our singing. Even if you are no longer here now to help me sing those unfamiliar songs or to save me when a Dionne Warwick or a Burt Bacharach song plays, I must admit that somehow, I am now enjoying the activity.
It was not until I attempted to sing “Close to You” by The Carpenters when I started to break down. I tried to follow the first few lines, hoping that singing it again would restore things in my life to normalcy but near middle of it, I began to weep like a little child. I know how much you loved The Carpenters and I can vividly remember you singing that song effortlessly. I guess, it is one of your masterpieces and I was quite lucky to have found one of the recordings you made on it among the things you left in your room. If ever you do not know Mama, I was the one who bravely cleaned up your things even if it felt double the pain because I was pretty sure that seeing Papa do the ordeal himself would definitely kill me. When Brando arrived at your wake, I tried to hold back my own tears as I assured him that things would be okay because seeing him cry would kill me. I am thankful Mama that you lent me your strength during that darkest time.
But what really pierced my heart, Mama, when I tried to sing that song was the fact that it speaks so much to me… “Just like me..they long to be close to you…..” The song is a celebration of the joy of being near to those we love and adore. And you, Mama, were the one who demonstrated that happiness too well among the family through your selfless love and dedication. You touched each one of us in your own unique and extra special way even if you were too busy over other things at work or at home. You loved us unconditionally and as I would recap your life now, to me, everything you did revolved around me, Papa, and Brando. That is why I can confidently say now that your passing was not in vain because you had a well-lived and fulfilled life because you found us — your center and your reason for living. And we cannot appreciate you more for that!
You might be dedicating that song for Papa, for me, and for Brando every time you would sing it. And even as I listen to it now, I quite feel your love and I feel like you’re still with us — singing beautifully the song for us. But the truth Mama is, while you dedicate that song to us, the song in fact speaks about you and that was what precisely turned my crying into weeping and rendered me unable to finish singing the song.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
Just like me they long to be close to you. …
I (We) long to be close to you, Mama! You must be someone on whom God spent a longer time creating because He made you quite special. We are lucky to have you, Mama. For us, you were the dream who came true in our lives. Like how I ended my eulogy during your interment, we thank God for lending us a beautiful and wonderful mom in you. We miss you so much, Mama!
Click title to listen to Mama’s version of Close to You
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Despite all the troubles I unintentionally made in the past, my shortcomings, my ill share of slips and flaws, I cannot help but be awed at how God still care about an insignificant being like me. Well, I was not Miss Popularity back in high school (nor do I aim of becoming one) but still, I feel quite lucky because I am blessed with just the right people I need in my life. Sometimes, I’d say to myself, “I must have done something good in my life to deserve these people.”
